Text # 6 - Suicide

This text, sent to me a few months ago, is also in my native language: Filipino, which I will translate to you. It says the following:

Original Text:

ANAK: Ma! C kuya, ngbigti sa banyo!

MAMA: Ha? (2mkbo ppntng C.R.)

MAMA: ikaw ha! Punyeta ka! Wg kng mgbi2ro ng ganyan!

ANAK: hehe, joke lng sa kwarto xa ngbigti.

Transaltion:

Son: Mom! It's Kuya*! He's committing suicide in the CR!

Mom: What? (runs to CR)

Mom: You! #%$@! Don't joke like that!

Son: Hehe, just kidding.He's committing suicide in his room.

Toinkz! Happy Blogging Everyone! :)

*Kuya is a respect term we use for our older brothers.

Text # 5 - Like the Way you Think

Another popular text sent to me a few months back: (enjoy!)

Teacher asks Johnny: If there were five birds on a fence and you shot one, how many would be left?

Johnny: None as the others will fly away.

Teacher: The answer is "four", but I like the way you think.

Johnny: I have a question for you, Ma'am.

Teacher: What is it?

Johnny: If three women are eating Ice Cream, one licking, one biting, and the other sucking, which one is married?

Teacher (nervously): Well, the one sucking the cone.

Johnny: No Ma'am, your wrong. It's the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you think Ma'am...

Hahahaha, Happy Blogging! :)

Text # 4 - Math Love Story

Hello!!! Here is another text sent to me a few months back. Luckily, this one is in English. :)

Boy: Did you know, that my love for you is like the limit of a constant over a variable, as the variable approaches zero?

Girl: What's that?

Boy: Infinity!

Girl: Oh, really? Well, did you know that mu love for you is like the limit of a function of x as x approaches a, if the function of x is equal to c, if x is greater than a and is equal to d, and if x is less than or equal to a?

Boy: And what is that?

Girl: Syntax Error!

Muahahaha ^ BUSTED! :P

Happy Blogging Everyone. :D

Text # 3 - Rides

Hello again! This text sent in one of our languages, Ilonggo. So, again, I shall translate it to you.

Original Text:

Anak: Tay ano ang escalator man?

Tatay: Hagdan ina anak nga naga pasaka panaug.

Anak: Ang elevator tay?

Tatay: Daku nga kahon nga nagasaka panaug man.

Anak: Ang calculator tay?

Tatay: Ina siya bag-o nga wala pa ako makasakay.

Translation:

Son: Dad, what's an Escalator?

Father: Son, that's a kind of stairs that goes up and down.

Son: How 'bout Elevator?

Father: That's a big box that goes up and down.

Son: How 'bout the Calculator?

Father: That? That's something new that I have yet to ride.

Hehehe, Happy Blogging Eveyone! :)

~ DJKlaye

Text # 2 - Teacher is Dead!

This second text I also received a few months ago. It is also in my native language: Filipino. So I'll translate it for you again...

Original Text:

Teacher: magpa2class picture tau pra pglaki nyo, ssbhin nyo, "wow c Dodong, ngaun police n! wow c Inday, nurse na! wow c Tomas, ngaun doctor n!"

Juan my phabol p mam!

Teacher: ano un, Juan?

Juan: "wow c mam, ngaun patay na!"

Teacher: upo! wag kang sasali s class picture!

Translation:

Teacher: Class, let's take a class picture so that when you grow old, you'll look back and say, "Wow, look at Dodong! Right now, he's already a police! Wow, look at Inday! Right now, she's now a nurse! Wow, look at Tomas! Right now, he's already a doctor!"

Juan: Excuse me Ma'am, but you missed one.

Teacher: What is it, Juan?

Juan: "Wow, look at Ma'am! Right now, she's already dead!"

Teacher: Sit! You are not joining the class picture.

Hahahaha, Happy Blogging Everyone! :)
~DJKlaye

Text # 1 - Press it, Squeeze it, Touch it, Lick it.

Here is a text message I received in my phone a few months ago. It's in my native language: Filipino. So I'll translate it for you.

Original Text:

Hikap
hikapa
ug
maau

gkan
punoan
hang2d 2moy

pug-a
hinay hinay

pislit
pislita

iti-on
kung
mogawas na

unya
syagit



Ma!!! WALA na tay COLGATE!...hAha

Translation:

Touch it,

Yes touch it with all your might.

From top to bottom,

touch it.

Squeeze it 

slowly.

Press it,

Yes, press it.

And when it comes out,

put the contents into your mouth.

Then shout,

"MOM!!! We don't have TOOTHPASTE anymore!"...hehe

What were you thinking? LoL.

Happy Blogging! :)

~DJKlaye

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